Bruce watches Ianto for a few moments, weighing his options. It's probably poor tactics to reveal his hand first, but it's as he was thinking earlier--he owes the man an explanation, at least. Now that Ianto's caught a glimpse of that part of his life, there's no taking it back, no pretending it didn't happen. Ianto's been loyal, and Bruce feels he deserves the opportunity to at least understand what happened.
He also hopes maybe Ianto will offer something of an explanation in return.
"When I was away, all those years--the seven years I was gone before I returned to Gotham, ah, a year or so ago," he begins, settling back in his chair, his eyes bright as he meets Ianto's gaze, "I wasn't just aimlessly wandering the world. I was... studying, I suppose is as good a word for it as any. I spent a lot of time learning about crime, about the criminal mind."
He folds his hands in front of himself, steepling his fingers. "I'm sure you're aware of what happened to my parents. It changed me, profoundly. I grew up wanting to avenge what had been done to them, to this city... to me." Bruce's eyes flicker for just in instant; it's a moment of rare honesty and candor. "I had an opportunity, before I left Gotham. But at the last moment, it was taken from me. It left me empty. Frustrated."
He shrugs. "I left. I went all over the world, learning, observing, studying. I still wanted that chance at vengeance. I wanted to find another way to get it. It wasn't until very near the end of those seven years that I came to see vengeance for what it is--nothing. Emptiness. The opposite of deliverance, which is what this city needs. What I needed, though I'm not sure if I'll ever find it."
There's another pause. Bruce stops short of laying all his cards out on the table; he wants to gauge Ianto's reaction, his level of comfort with what's being revealed. As much as he wants to keep his assistant's trust, and feels the man warrants the truth, there's no sense giving up his biggest secret if what's been presented to Ianto so far is only going to make him turn away.
"The men who attacked us in London--they're part of a group I trained with, at the very end of my travels. There were certain expectations of me at the end of that training, that I would serve, carry on their work. But it came at too high a price. We had a falling out. I'm afraid the bad blood continues, even though I'd hoped it was all behind me now. I don't have words for how completely infuriated I was to be attacked like that when I wasn't alone. I owe you an apology, for getting you dragged into that. I hope you don't hold it against me."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2008-11-24 01:14 am (UTC)Bruce watches Ianto for a few moments, weighing his options. It's probably poor tactics to reveal his hand first, but it's as he was thinking earlier--he owes the man an explanation, at least. Now that Ianto's caught a glimpse of that part of his life, there's no taking it back, no pretending it didn't happen. Ianto's been loyal, and Bruce feels he deserves the opportunity to at least understand what happened.
He also hopes maybe Ianto will offer something of an explanation in return.
"When I was away, all those years--the seven years I was gone before I returned to Gotham, ah, a year or so ago," he begins, settling back in his chair, his eyes bright as he meets Ianto's gaze, "I wasn't just aimlessly wandering the world. I was... studying, I suppose is as good a word for it as any. I spent a lot of time learning about crime, about the criminal mind."
He folds his hands in front of himself, steepling his fingers. "I'm sure you're aware of what happened to my parents. It changed me, profoundly. I grew up wanting to avenge what had been done to them, to this city... to me." Bruce's eyes flicker for just in instant; it's a moment of rare honesty and candor. "I had an opportunity, before I left Gotham. But at the last moment, it was taken from me. It left me empty. Frustrated."
He shrugs. "I left. I went all over the world, learning, observing, studying. I still wanted that chance at vengeance. I wanted to find another way to get it. It wasn't until very near the end of those seven years that I came to see vengeance for what it is--nothing. Emptiness. The opposite of deliverance, which is what this city needs. What I needed, though I'm not sure if I'll ever find it."
There's another pause. Bruce stops short of laying all his cards out on the table; he wants to gauge Ianto's reaction, his level of comfort with what's being revealed. As much as he wants to keep his assistant's trust, and feels the man warrants the truth, there's no sense giving up his biggest secret if what's been presented to Ianto so far is only going to make him turn away.
"The men who attacked us in London--they're part of a group I trained with, at the very end of my travels. There were certain expectations of me at the end of that training, that I would serve, carry on their work. But it came at too high a price. We had a falling out. I'm afraid the bad blood continues, even though I'd hoped it was all behind me now. I don't have words for how completely infuriated I was to be attacked like that when I wasn't alone. I owe you an apology, for getting you dragged into that. I hope you don't hold it against me."